Vaginismus Explained – A Female Condition No Woman Wants

If you are suffering with vagina tightness, and as a result you experience painful sex, an inability to have sex, cannot insert a tampon, or anything else in this area due to your vaginal area tightness, you may have a condition called vaginismus (also known as vaginism).

Vaginismus is a condition when your  vaginal muscles tense up (spasm) involuntarily during sex, or, during any other form of penetration in the vaginal area.

The vaginal tension is out of your control.  In other words, “It is not your fault this is happening”.

(You may not feel the muscles tense, but will certainly know that your vaginal area is tight,or too small).

Vaginismus explainedAs a result, penetration (sex, inserting a tampon, or having a gynecological examination) is either extremely painful (there can also be a burning feeling), or impossible to accomplish.

Penetration can feel like the object is hitting a brick wall.

The pain can be extreme, and there can also be a burning feeling, and/or a feeling of pressure in the vaginal area or abdomen.

Vaginismus can happen to any women, at any age.  Some girls know there is something wrong with their lady bits down there, even before they reach puberty.

This condition is more common than you think, and most ladies don’t talk about it, or seek medical help because they feel ashamed, afraid, or embarrassed.

This often results in isolation, feeling alone, relationship breakdowns, or staying single so this problem stays a secret.

So for this reason, I decided to create this site Lady Parts Gone Wrong, to help others to become aware of vaginismus (tight vagina), and other conditions related to vaginismus, based on my own personal experiences, and what I have learnt along the way.

If you want to see my story, go to When Down There Is Too Tight And Painful To Have Sex – My story – Part 1

If you have this condition, or think you may have this condition,

You are Not Alone,

The Good News Is – Vaginismus is Treatable.

When your lady parts are too tight and painful to have sex, or any other form of penetration, there may also be other causes as to why you have vaginal tightness.

In saying this, I cannot stress enough – If you have any medical issues you are worried about, especially in the sacred lady parts, it is best to seek advice from a health care professional.

Dr Anusha Dias Explains Vaginismus


The tightness in the vaginal area is caused from the vaginal muscles involuntarily going into a spasm.  It is out of your control.  In other words, “It is not your fault this is happening”.

(1)  Inserting tampons (or anything else), having gynecological examinations is very painful, or impossible to accomplish.

(2)  No matter how much you want to have sex, how aroused, how relaxed, or wet you are, the vagina is tight, and/or gets tighter.

(3)  Types of  Vaginismus  –  There are two types of vaginismus, primary vaginismus, and secondary vaginismus.

Primary Vaginismus – Refers to those who have never been able to insert a tampon. While for others that have never tried using a tampon, don’t realize until they try to have sex.

Secondary Vaginismus – Refers to those that have been able to have sex, (or other forms of penetration), then suddenly cannot have sex (or other forms of penetration) without extreme pain, or burning, or cannot accomplish these at all.

(4)  Vaginismus Causes – Often there is no reason as to why this is happening to you.  Many health care professionals agree that there is often (but not always) a subconscious (psychological), or emotional element to vaginismus.

In saying this, there are some things that can contribute to vaginismus occurring…

(4:1)  Fear and anxiety (this can also be on a subconscious level) around having penetrative sex.

(4:2)  Negative emotions about sex – This can be common in those that have grown up in an environment/family/religion that has negative views/opinions about sex.

(4: 3)  Traumatic experience.  You may have experienced  something traumatic in the past such as, sexual abuse, or painful sex.

(4:4)  Hormone changes – It’s not uncommon for vaginismus to occur during pregnancy or menopause when there is a change in your hormones.

For example: When a women has gone through menopause, her estrogen levels drop.  The estrogen drop can often cause a lack of vaginal lubrication and elasticity, resulting in painful sex, or an inability to be penetrated.

For some women this can lead to vaginismus.

(4:5)  Vaginal infections and other vaginal conditions

(4.6)  Gynecologic surgery – Some forms of gynecologic surgery can induce vaginismus.

(4.7)  Various cancer treatments – Can cause vaginal dryness that can induce vaginismus.

(5)  Treatment – Vaginismus can be treated.  There are various types of treatments.  Everyone is different as to what type of treatment will work for them.  Depending on what the cause of your vaginismus is, will depend on what type of treatment will be best for you.

This is why it is important to seek advice from a healthcare professional, so a treatment plan to fit your needs can be established.

Various treatments can include:

(5:1)  Learning to deal with fear and anxiety – around your perceptions of your body image, sex, or any form of penetration to your vaginal area.  Sometimes the focus of this treatment (counselling) will be on identifying, understanding, and changing your perceptions about your body image, sex, and vaginal penetration.

Relaxation techniques, and mindful techniques such as yoga, and meditation can also be of benefit for this.

(5:2)  Training the vaginal muscles – Various techniques can help to relax the tense muscles around the vaginal area. The most common ones are:

Pelvic floor exercises to release the tension in the vaginal area.  These are often referred to as Pelvic Floor Exercises, or Kegels.

(5.3)  Pelvic floor training –  Vaginal dilators (also known as pelvic floor trainers) are designed to get you used to something penetrating your vagina, and also help to stretch the vagina.

A dilator is a tubular shaped device, and is usually made from plastic, silicone, or glass.

They usually come in a set, ranging from a very small tampon size, and graduating up in size, to a larger size similar to an average penis.

(5.4)  Hormone Treatment – Hormone replacement therapy/treatment is often recommended to menopausal women.  The reason for this, is because during, and after menopause there is a drop in the hormone, estrogen.

Low levels of estrogen can cause vaginal dryness and follow on to vaginal tightness (vaginismus) .

(5.5) Botox injections – Many doctors use this type of treatment as a last resort, due to the types of side effects botox may have on you. 

Botox injections for vaginal tightness are given to ladies that have extremely intense fear,  and anxiety about being penetrated, and no other forms of treatment have worked.

For some, vaginismus  may last a few months, and for others it may last for years.


If you have already seen a healthcare professional, and feel they are not taking you seriously (telling you to just relax during sex or penetration, and not bothering to examine you),  or you feel they have not diagnosed you correctly, I strongly suggest you to go to another health care professional for a second opinion.

The cause of  Vaginal tightness often takes a while to diagnose, as there can be various reasons why you have vaginal tightness.

From what I have experienced, some doctors don’t like to diagnose, or offer treatment options until you have been to a gynecologist for an assessment.

For some, vaginismus may last a few months, and for others, it may last for years.  Various treatment options are out there, but every lady is different as to what treatment will work for her.

Sometimes this condition can just go away on it’s own (as you will see in my story below)

When Down There Is Too Tight And Painful To Have Sex – My story – Part 1

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DISCLAIMER:  I am not a health care professional, the information in this article is based on my own personal experience of living with vaginismus, vaginal atrophy (including menopause issues), and what I have learned along the way. Some articles on this website will include other womanly issues that I feel women need to know about.  If you have any concerns about your health, it is best for you to seek advice from a health care professional – Full disclaimer)“.

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